RNC Opening Day/Apple Brand Loyalty Vol. 1

So I think that we're gonna go out at least on Sunday for the massive protest, though I am definitely interested in some of the other actions that are happening (bugger our camera, which decided that now was a good time to stop working properly. I'm sure that dropping it didn't help. my partner again tells me that Mercury is in retrograde, which may explain why her laptop died on us y'day). Speaking of which, although the Apple stores look cool, the fact that this issue exists to begin with has opened up the first crack in my solid wall of brand loyalty that may graduate into a full-fledged fissure. Wow - hooked on phonics is really helping my alliterative skills.

But this is just classic, below:

Schedule for the opening day of the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION

6:00 P.M. - Opening prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 P.M. - Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 P.M. - Ceremonial Burning of the Bill of Rights and the Constitution (excluding the Second Amendment)

6:45 P.M. - Salute to the "Coalition of the Willing"

6:46 P.M. - Seminar 1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"

7:30 P.M. - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan

7:35 P.M. - Trent Lott - "Resegregation in the 21st Century"

7:40 P.M. - EPA Address 1: "Mercury: It's What's for Dinner"

8:00 P.M. - Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 P.M. - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 P.M. - John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"

8:30 P.M. - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (Men Only)

8:50 P.M. - Seminar 2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"

9:00 P.M. - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 P.M. - Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"

9:10 P.M. - EPA Address 2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"

9:30 P.M. - Break for secret meetings

10:00 P.M. - Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 P.M. - Carl Rove Lecture: "Doublespeak Made Simple"

10:30 P.M. - Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: "How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside"

10:35 P.M. - Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

10:40 P.M. - John Ashcroft demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt

10:45 P.M. - GOP's tribute to tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice

10:46 P.M. - Ann Coulter's tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"

10:50 P.M. - Seminar 3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"

11:10 P.M. - Hilary Clinton Piñata

11:20 P.M. - John Ashcroft lecture: "Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult"

11:30 P.M. - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 P.M. - Blame Clinton

11:40 P.M. - Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"

11:41 P.M. - Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore

11:50 P.M. - Closing prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 Mid - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord