Nov 9, 2004


it's been a long time, and this motherfucker's gonna burn. I'm feeling angry again. The veil of comfort torn from before my eyes, I don't want to find answers, don't care about solutions, and just want to tear shit to pieces.

Is this a reaction to the election results? Or just a feeling of confinement, the gilded cage a cage nonetheless. People are selfish, and in the immediate desire to withdraw only and fully into myself, I remember that I'm blessed to have D and family.

Personal daemons remain, singing songs in pre-emptive celebration, anticipating my gradual descent into the charred pit of broken dreams from whence they came. I flip the bird and move on. Stop wasting my time.

Why do groups who claim to be working for the community continue to carve out their fiefdoms and slash at anyone who falls within the wide definition of "outsider"? If I wanted to join a cult, I would have picked one with more fun rituals than the social justice movement. The battle ahead is long and will be hard. Do we still have to devour one another in the process? A million clawing hands, our hands, tear at ourselves as the days draw longer, and darkness descends upon us all.

False messiahs, each a deity in their immediate sphere. The promised land of anywhere-but-here, the anointed time of reckoning upon us, the Word an absolute ideology that has only one interpretation.

I have been complacent. There is work to do. The weeds have grown tall and confident.

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