First, a note about the speech. It was interesting, at quick glance, though I don’t know if I agree with all of his characterizations concerning modern society and gender roles, but maybe it’s just the trumpeting of modern India that got on my nerves (though it was more muted than Tharoor’s overblown tribute in From Midnight to Millenium). Then again, he did highlight some of the challenges that remain in front of India (female infanticide, the great literacy divide, and ongoing dowry violence).
Regardless, I looked it over a couple of times and didn’t see anything directly about what I’m posting about below (perhaps this topic is a little too fringe or seedy for a conference speech).
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So, a friend of mine sent me a link recently, encouraging me to check out The Indian American, the online version of a relatively recent publication to hit the streets of desi America. I think the idea is that this should be a bit more hip, and speak a little more to my generation than the India Abroads and News India Times in the U.S. (though I think that Rediff has turned India Abroad around a little, some of the reporting is still vacuous at best).
While perusing the front page of The Indian American, I looked at the links that they offered on their “Indian Blog” roll. The last on the list is “Save Indian Family” Thinking that it sounded like a social service/advocacy organization, I played along and clicked. What I found was at first entertaining, but then became troubling. Now I’m wondering if it’s a bit of a window into the unexpected reactions to changes in India that I’d been wondering about for some time.
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It’s not about “Saving Indian Families” any more than Cows are Cool is about hamburgers (though it did teach me that Joaquin Phoenix is an ardent vegan who doesn’t even wear leather on the set for work).
Anyway, from what I gather, the site is haven to a small group of Indian men (in India) who aren’t particularly happy with the developments in India, at least in the realm of gender equity (which boggles the mind when you take a macro perspective of how far women still have to go in India to have economic and social parity in the nation, but I guess we can equate that with the fearsome white folk stateside).
The main focus of their ire seems to be section 498a of the Indian Penal Code, which deals with dowry harassment. Here’s the statement from their website:
Save Indian Family(SIF) is a movement spearheaded by about 1500 Engineers, Techies, NRIs, Professors, Scientists, Corporate executives, Intellectuals and Senior Citizens working towards creating a Harmonious Society. The online activists are about 590 in number and every week about 30 new people join us.So the first thought I had when I read this statement, without reading the articles and comments, was “hey! they want harmonious society. that’s good.” Reading onward, I saw “against patriarchy and gender based discrimination” and thought “wow! these guys are progressive, too!”
SIF works against patriarchy, gender based discrimination, media bias, elder abuse, unscientic social research and fund chasing by various organisations in India. SIF members swear by Gender Equality.
SIF Members believe in Free Speech and they are courageous enough to talk about truth without bothering about political correctness. So, some of the findings of SIF can be quite startling to an average reader.
Needless to say - that’s not what’s happening here. These guys are part of a backlash against both the increased legal action against dowry retaliations, and the changing role of women in Indian society. These guys don’t seem to be able to take it. And they’re pretty vicious.
This outlet allows them to highlight specific stories and basically rant against women and social policy in India that apparently does more than simply threaten the status quo of institutional oppression. Oppression that women have confronted in India and around the world from the beginning of gender role assignments in society. But these men seem to feel that they represent a silent and besieged majority of men who have been transformed into the victims of the modernity and Westernization that have turned Indian women into a formidable and dangerous foe.
Here's a choice sample from their blog:
The root of the problem is not 498a, alimony, sowry or maintenance.The root of the problem is the design by the society to exploit the masculine gender.
So, boys are emotionally suppressed and many of them are sent to work at early stage.
The boys are conditioned to protect and provide for family at the expense of their own well being. This job literally never ends for the man.
The parents and wife put pressure on him to toil hard and provide for the lifestyle. If he does not, then he is not ambitious. If he does, then he is a workholic. He is made to go through choices between
devil and deep sea in his whole life.So, how men/boys can stop this social attrocity ?
Here are some perspectives:
1) If a man is abused by wife and her family, first he should reduce responsibility towards his parents.
If parents crib, then tell them to get out of Patriarchy and join protest against society’s hypocrisy against men.
2) Do not think of future, savings for old age and responsibility towards children.
3) Do not take insurances for secuirty of family and wife.
4) Do not work hard and get to emergency mode in office.
5) Remove all responsibilities from mind (towards family, towards parents, towards children, towards economy, towards society).
6) This approach will free the man’s mental resources(CPU and Memory).
7) Then, the man can muster enough strength to fight the female and her treacherous parents. He can also teach lesson to armchair hypochondriac hypocrite social activists.
In short, a man must cut off all the responsibilities and live for one day at a time. That will free up all his resources. Then, he can tackle the vicious female and her family in a powerful way.
A few quick observations:
1) It’s really weird the way they use “patriarchy” on this site. I think that it’s somehow getting lost in translation (from Western English to Indian English. It kind of reminds me of that line in the Princess Bride that Inigo Mantoya tells the Sicilian after noticing that he keeps saying “Inconceivable!”
So it seems that they haven’t figured out that patriarchy is not synonymous with women’s rights or gender equity, but is instead more of what they embody through their vitriol. But it’s really pretty funny to read their comments about how increased independence and refusal to allow men and their families to walk over their rights is the result of the backwards “patriarchy” of the West. I want to just write comments to enflame the regulars and get them to write long rants against patriarchy. Sorry... I do not think that means what you think it means!
2) All kidding aside, this site is pretty scary. Though I’m sure it’s a fringe group (after all, 1,500 in a nation of nearly 550,000,000 men is not a big deal), but how many other groups are out there? And how many men are seething in their isolation, unclear about how the reforms and changes in India are ultimately better for the nation, and feeling threatened as cosmopolitanism and opportunity begin to gnaw away at the gender gap? Are these groups analogous to the white pride thugs in the United States, the UK, and Australia who have drawn the tight circle around themselves to protect against the demons of race, ethnicity, and sex that they hate? I don’t know either way, but I think that there may be more of this kind of backlash, with men feeling like they are losing ground and not understanding the concept that parity of this very fundamental kind will pay off in the long run.
3) Regardless of the future - you should contact the Indian American now, tell them that you checked out their site, and that you’re shocked and appalled that a fringe group like this one, which is so obviously anti-woman, is getting equal play as some of the other noteworthy blogs on their site. Someone was lazy in researching who they were advertising. We shouldn’t let that stop us, though!
Here’s my quick note to them:
To Whom it May Concern:* * *
I just started reading the Indian American online, and the content is pretty good, but I was shocked that you linked to the fringe hate group "saveindianfamilies.comorg" on your main page. The group is clearly anti-woman and anti-progress. I am appalled at their site and hope that you will soon remove the link, because it definitely makes me think twice about reading your publication.
I don’t have the energy to write about this right now, but it definitely calls to question larger issues around so-called “modernity” and the ability of societies to catch up with the rapid developments. India didn’t have extensive mobile phone networks 5 years ago. And now we’re moving into high-speed access and second generation internet technologies and job development. If the United States are having a hard time dealing with the rapidly changing technology, how are older societies dealing with it?
Regardless, this post seems like it’s opening up a lot more questions and possible tangents than I originally envisioned, so I’m calling it a night here, to pick another fight, another day. Feel free to troll on that site, though. These guys take this stuff too seriously, even if they are crazy.