Blah.

In the forever barrage of endless, useless media, I've pretty much checked out. I don't read the news anymore. I don't read blogs at all anymore. And I don't have cable, so I am stuck with the insufferable, subpalpable pulp they feed you on network TV. So you have little rehash of the news here, and really, little of anything else.

I have been thinking about what I want to do with my training, and with my energy. I want to stay positive about change, about committing myself to something I can care about for the long-term. Something that releases me from the unnecessary distractions of personal achievement, and/or ego. Something that allows me to grow with a community.

I've grown deeply tired of the endless bartering of positions, and stakes, for communities by people who don't give a damn about what happens in the end. Faceless, baseless politicians, national think tanks and "policy" groups, and the whole lot of groups that don't speak to local stakeholders, nor dig in long enough on issues to watch and learn how they evolve and peel away at the lives of simple Americans trying to live.

I am tired of white liberal America, wherever and whatever that is. They are too busy trying to stake a safe ground to even issue statements that would be deemed "PC" (and I hate that constructed, fake, conservative term with a passion) by their emboldened opponents. The rabid right aren't afraid. And you know what? The white liberals have always been aware that the closet racists and xenophobes in their camp are not isolated. And they know that the not-so-happy contingent will come out and speak in their privileged circles away from the press and the microphones. To the point where liberal = an uneasy coalition of people who still harbor their range of untrained, under-exposed, biased opinions and privileges. While I don't think that the Democrats are anywhere close to liberal, I definitely don't think that liberals are all that hot either. And the coalition of separate interests, bruised egos, and personal ambitions make it more a group without vision, or the ability to forge a vision in the smithy of collective passions.

I am tired of the bitter, raging, and almost always negative progressives and radicals of color. The world and system are fucked up. Stop bitching. Fix that shit. And stop screaming about all the people who aren't conscious yet. The movable middle will not be moved by threats, doomsday, or insults. Heart moves people. Personal connections move people. Not re-spewed rhetoric and statements like "they're fucked up. What are you doing?!"

Anyway - not that I'm in a great position to bitch about people, but *sigh* Need a little positivity in light of all that's here. Life is short, and staying in this for as long as we can has to be worth it in some way - we have to feel like we're in a movement, that moves people. And a movement that is uplifting, a conscious party to change things and revive the spirit of possibility. I'm in this work and this life because of the personal connections that brought me here, and the spirit of ancestors - not only my own - that have struggled and won. And I can't dishonor their memory with dreams only of doom. We have work to do, enit?

Aww, whatever. It's Sunday, and the world is watching World Cup. Força!