i scoured the bookstore shelves
for the perfect guide to san fran
which only exists as a vision
like the images marco polo painted
in calvino's invisible cities
in book after book, pages
were missing or lost
the index had forgotten
kearny street workshop
somArts center, the i-hotel
instead i found jack kerouac
a dead beat's ghost lingering
in borders instead of city lights
where is wittman ah sing
when i need a dose of truth
to tell me i'm wrong
that anywhere else
but not in San Francisco
our histories here
are not so invisible
May 15, 2007
May 13, 2007
May 10, 2007
HireImmigrants.ca
This is one of those ads that I mentioned. Still more than we get here.
Little Mosque on the Prairie.
Check this out, folks. A show from Canada (can you imagine something like this in the U.S.?). It's not perfect, but it's a sit-com, and I'd rather laugh with these folks than Seinfeld or the Friends any day. First season comprised of 8 episodes, and all are available on YouTube. One thing of note: there's a group called Hire Immigrants that has interesting ads during a couple of the shows (I think the first episode and somewhere later on). The theme is "if Canada is a land of opportunity, why is an MBA/MS... etc, etc." It's a different kind of ad, still more than we have here (can you imagine how many different ads we can do, just with NY cab drivers?), but it raises other issues. I mean, the whole "good immigrant"/"bad immigrant" dynamic between folks with specialized skills and laborers: do we really want to reinforce the economic caste system that already exists in the communities (or can we find ways to disrupt it so that our own communities are not abusing co-ethnics who are just looking for a way to survive).
Anyway, check this out, send them a note of support, and let's see what the next season has to bring.
May 9, 2007
What's a "diverse student"?
I got an email recently from our Career Development Office concerning "opportunities for diverse students this summer." It seems that I've heard this phrase a lot lately: "diverse students." It really gets under my skin. I mean, if you're talking about traditionally underrepresented communities, specific ethnicities/racial groups/sexual or gender identities, or whatever, isn't there a better way to put it than "diverse individuals." I mean, if a white guy and a white woman are in a group, that's "diverse" in a number of ways. If we have brown haired and blonde haired people from states around the nation, that's "diverse."
I feel like it's a ghettoization of the term "diversity" to represent visible minorities, and there's this weird tiptoeing around the fire, trying not to use certain phrases to alienate white, hetero students while *clearly* meaning a very specific group of students. Basically, this process will end up (as if it hasn't already) reducing concepts of "diversity" to race, gender, or sexual orientation without speaking to why there is special outreach to these groups. The resulting bad-taste-in-the-mouth syndrome is either tokenism, favoritism, or doubt about the merit of such outreach, depending on who you're talking to.
The lax approach towards language reflects, IMHO, something else. Diversity programs seem to value the faces more than the stories behind those faces, failing to recognize that true integration of different perspectives and groups would take other attributes into account - from family wealth to prior access to education and employment opportunities.
Clearly "diverse" should mean a lot more than it does, and it bothers me that while middle-class people of color are able to take advantage of opportunities that are opened up through "diversity" programs (not really at the expense of the white middle-class people who are the most vocal about these things), it's the working class and poor of this country - of any race or background - that are still left behind.
And it's their voices that are so sorely missed in the corporate board room, the policy-maker's advisory group, and even law school's diversity-based planning and decision-making. Window-dressing doesn't do anything, and if everyone, regardless of their "diversity" is still talking about the same firm jobs, the same damn sit-coms, and everything else, what difference has the program made?
May 8, 2007
LAPD and May 1 Violence.
In case you needed any further confirmation, the LAPD remains fucked up. See this post on Los Anjalis for details around the May 1 immigrant rights demonstrations. Do we need any further proof that they just don't care? Can you imagine something like this happening at an anti-abortion or pro-gun demonstration? Crazy shit.
Do something. Contact the LAPD.
May 7, 2007
The New Mutiny.
So I have had my own run-ins, albeit infrequent and minor, with some of the Sepia Mutiny crew. I used to read the site once in a while because I thought it was a good place to find interesting tidbits of news and pop culture, though the commentary was uneven, but I figured, heck - it's an Indian blog, what do you expect, and the design/elements were more polished than anything I'd put time into creating. But when they asserted biased viewpoints and tried to pass it off as legitimate "new media," or beat down on the few people who bothered to post opposing/thoughtful responses amongst the throngs of their echo chamber... well, it became clear that this was an Indian blog, egos were fragile, and it was nothing close to a community space that I wanted to be involved with.
So I just turned it off. Now, I only glance at the site when someone sends me a link - resorting to more primary sources of "actual news" as it were, and not feeling any loss for my decision. I mean, I might as well go to an uncle party if I wanted their points of view, and really, who the hell has the time to read so much triviality?
UPDATE
I had originally posted a site here that was launched to poke fun/attack/what have you some of the people involved with SM and other related sites. I was posting with the idea that I was just "sharing" the site. But a comment (still below) raised a number of good points that I'd not thought through while in my hast. Bottom line: regardless of the intent or impact of the site in question, it doesn't really matter - I don't want to be part of it, and I don't want to support it. I want to build - not attack/take things apart. We have too much work to do. So forgive me the transgression in judgment, and thank you to the anonymous commenter.
From Monument to Masses; API Arts in San Fran.
I just clicked into the Manja: Asian American Arts Events list of events happening around town in San Francisco when we're there. There's a lot! I'm incredibly impressed. One of the events we actually missed, though, was a concert by From Monument to Masses on April 20. I decided to bite and see what they're about, and it ends up that they create instrumental soundscapes that are quite compelling, but not just for "suffocating artsiness of highbrow indie wankery." Check out this opening paragraph from their band bio:
"The work: to make revolution irresistible."
- Toni Cade Bambara
Revolutionary. While it's become increasingly difficult to refrain from rolling one's eyes whenever one hears the word, it's even harder not to use it when describing From Monument To Masses. This San Francisco area three-piece, founded in late 2000, is constantly pushing the boundaries of instrumental post-rock--combining layers of guitar loops, driving polyrhythm and breakbeats, and sampled sound into emotional, ever-changing song structures. FMTM's music has always moved away from the pop music standards of lead vocals, verse-chorus-bridge song structures, and radio-friendly song lengths. But there is a conscious limit to their instrumental experimentation...
Hell yeah. This is what I'm talking about. The music and smart samples speak volumes. I'm very impressed by the four tracks I heard through their myspace, and really hope they come out to the east coast soon. I'm just starting to tap the indie stuff that's all over the place - I guess I've been stuck in the mainstream quite a bit, but learning more about this work that people have been doing is really awesome. More music and groups to check out. But what hits me with their stuff is that they aren't afraid of the political message, without hitting you over the head with it lyrically. I've been vibing out to Explosions in the Sky a lot, but this sound captures the emotion without forgetting the context in which we're living. I can dig it.
Wow - just checking out the arts scene events listed on that site makes me wonder about my choice of coasts. Something else that we're going to miss is State of Bengal's record release party, a few performance showcases (including one by Denizen Kane a.k.a. Dennis Kim from I Was Born With Two Tongues), and a range of visual art openings. While I'm really excited to be out there, I may get antsy about what we're bringing on this coast. The diversity of genres and disciplines is what I imagined for the Bay, but it's a different thing to check out the actual list. Damn. We got a lot of work to do. Talking about movement, working for it is one thing, but it's the artists who will document the experience and move the hearts and minds of the people. Plus, straight-up activists are boring. Read More......
May 6, 2007
Writing/List.
I've been living a little more, blogging a little less.
But feeling the urge to write more, in a calm way that doesn't scream "do it right now!!" and make me feel like I'm slagging off on everything. So that's a positive thing. If only I could write in a way that wouldn't give me a headache, and yet still have the effectiveness of typing. But I've pulled out the good ol' composition book for my train rides once more. I'm anticipating (hopefully) a long train ride to work this summer, so that will be a good excuse to attempt some focused writing. So many interests and topics, so many shadows and light. So much to reflect on, without getting lost only in consideration. I have infinite admiration for people who can write in a concise period and then move on to the next thing. I'm not like that at all - I mean, if I think something is important enough to write and think about in any non-stream-of-consciousness way, the process is agonizing - almost working around the actual writing until I finally have to sit down and crank it out. That's how it is for me right now with this final paper that I have to slog through before I get to freedom on the other side.
Heck, even fun writing takes me a long time sometimes - that piece I wrote about I for India took me a very long time, because I was trying to delve deeper into my personal history, and to think more about the topic - but I didn't give myself the quiet time to do that thinking that I need. I guess it's a matter of compromise, and learning that at a certain point, just putting something together and getting it off your chest quickly is cathartic, and this act of writing, particularly in a blog, which is supposed to be two part entertainment (if at least for self) and one part reflection should come more easily. Ah whatever! Thanks for reading, y'all. I've been very thankful for the past week or so, getting through my semester's end frenzy with more grace than I've mustered over the past 3. The road back to community seems shorter than it did at the beginning of this trip, and my step grows lighter with each passing day.
On that note... more things I'm grateful for in May:
Long walks. Our lives have been hectic, and I've not walked as much as I used to. Our neighborhood offers small and large sights, and taking advantage of the scene and the company are part of what makes the weekends special, no matter how often I say that I don't want to live just for them. Rather than try to cram everything we have to do into those two precious days, stretching out a bit and spending some quiet time walking has been a new habit. And I'm starting to recognize faces along the way/ flower buds bloom mark time passing rather than our calendars, and it's all right.
Mangoes. Hell yeah - it's mango season again. I wasn't really a mango freak until I lived close enough to an Indian market (i.e. Jackson Heights) to get a box whenever I was nearby. There's nothing like a good mango to change your mood. My mom ends up buying a couple of extra boxes in Jersey City to give to her friends near home. I'm carrying that tradition on - they may not be from my own garden, but I want to give people mangoes. All food metaphors aside, gotta share them while they're good. And ain't nothing like a fresh mango shake on a warm day.
Asian Pacific American Heritage Month. This sounds brutally banal, like one of those idiots who blogs on-and-on about how wonderful their lives, their yoga classes, and their "deep thoughts" about "community" are, but this is honest reflection. I love my community. I love that I have spaces where I feel comfortable, even though I didn't grow up there, and I don't try to front like I'm an insider. Chinatown is more like home because I feel comfortable there, just like Asian American arts spaces feel like places where I can relate to people. We all have friends and family, but being able to connect in this way really means something to me, spiritually. I know that we can imagine resonance with others in our lives, based in some part on what we hope this world to be, and that inner need for most of us to be able to relate to people takes over and distorts reality... but I don't think I'm imagining this connection. I feel peace. That grounded sense where the chaos of the moment fades to the order that lies beneath - the echoes of people whose lives were difficult before, and the struggles that people are fighting every day now. But if we can't celebrate that, if we can't see this as some great big canvas upon which the good and the bad are pieces of a whole, then our work will not matter, our efforts will be wasted, and their stories will be forgotten.
Connections. I've been extraordinarily blessed by the friendships I've made over the years. I meet incredible people who don't forget what friendship means or how to connect even when I'm often caught up in something in "life" that keeps me from being consistent for them. The possibility of drifting from people, especially when you don't see them regularly, is so great - in our lives, we take on new roles, meet new people, evolve in our thinking and relations (or don't). How we can keep our relationships dynamic and fresh really depends on how much we're willing to keep working at them, I guess.
I had a history teacher in my little town who gave me two things, among others. First, he'd hand out photocopied chapters from Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States to supplement our textbook reading - a wonderfully eye-opening thing for a high school teacher to do. But I didn't read any of them. I read Zinn in the weeks after I graduated from college, picking it up from the bookstore in Bard College where I worked as a resident/teaching assistant for a Bank Street program with high school seniors. It was an odd choice for summer reading, but it was perfect, and I remember pouring over the pages and realizing what I'd missed - it took me two graduations to get there. But the other thing he gave me was a thought about how he wanted his friendships to be - he would tell me that he had friends who he would see from his younger days, but all they would do is talk about the good ol' days. But they didn't have much else to discuss, and he wondered about how and when to cut off those friendships - if it's not growing with you - if you're not able to talk about your lives now, no matter how different you may have become, well, does the friendship still really exist? Or is it the corporal equivalent of pulling your yearbook off the shelf and flipping through the pages?
I have so far to travel along this path I've only gently begun in community-based work, and that's what excites me still. As soon as that excitement wanes, it's time to move on. But some of my dearest friends are from my life before I started this way, and I fear that they think more about my choices than I do - as if we can measure our worth and what we contribute by the jobs we hold, the roads we've traveled. The measure of a person must be what's in their hearts, and I know that I have friends who sometimes think that they've "sold out" or they aren't living the life they want to live. And I feel helpless sometimes, because I can't figure out the words to assure them that our roles are all important, and that it's okay if they feel like they are in a rut, or that folks have obligations that have led them to the paths they have had to take (if they don't enjoy them). More than anything, I just realize that with my deep engagement with work and now school, I sometimes falter in my connections, but I have been reminded time and again of how fortunate I am to have met so many of the people who make up my memories.
I only hope that physical proximity is not what we need to keep those vital and formative friendships dynamic and alive.
Anyway - this post has meandered quite a bit. Sorry for that - Sunday evening when you have a lot to do, but a heart and stomach full of good things - and this is what you get. Listening to Explosions in the Sky/Aphex Twin's ambient work gives me this hopeful, lifted feeling. So does some of the soul that I've been picking up from Oliver Wang's excellent Soul Sides music blog.
I promise I'll listen to some aggressive shit and remember how messed up the world out there is, and live back up to my rage moniker. After all, I'm not blogging from California, there's a lot of fucked up stuff going on, and this is not the time to bliss out. We have work to do.
May 3, 2007
ADF: New Way New Life
I'm about a decade late on this, but damn. ADF isn't running away from community. Why don't we have groups like this in the US?
May 2, 2007
A Greener Apple.
Damn. I just posted that question about Apple's enviro-policies yesterday, and today, Steve Jobs posts up this blog-like entry that outlines more of their actual policy (because apparently, no one really knew). I wonder if Jobs reads this blog. Did I push him over the brink? I didn't think this was a new campaign, so I don't know what gives, but I'm shocked at the coincidence. I wonder if the next step is a massive donation to the brown side trust... ;)
May 1, 2007
I'm trying to get myself motivated for final season again. I can't believe there are people out there who actually enjoy going through this process. I'm so ready to get out of the exam/paper ratrace. I like thinking about the law, and I don't at all feel ready to get out there, but I'm tired of this system.
And I'm even getting a little tired of student organizing, what little I've been able to do while here. The most redeeming factor of my second year, in fact, has been the joy that I've received from my work with fellow students on issues of mutual concern that impact many of the graduates from my school who want to "do good" with their law degrees. The school has a growing reputation with incoming students, and perhaps even in the local area, for turning out innovative and committed students who want to do more community-based work, whether as their chosen career or as a pro bono gig. But it's not been wholly true to that end because it doesn't put as much oomph behind the programs that will support the work long-term. In other words, the infrastructure is somewhat weak - it's the students, the faculty, and the alum that keep people coming. But how long will that remain the case? So we've organized around this issue. And we've built momentum around this over the past year.
But how does this relate to my ultimate goals for career and personal mission? I mean, I'm not a college student anymore, having gone through this all a while ago, and I'm tired of the cycles of activism/cynicism/administrative roadblocks that make actual change difficult. Maybe I'm feeling that I haven't done the right things to keep the group of organizers I'm working with moving on their own, not because they need me as a leader, but because it's easy to identify one person as the responsible body. I wonder if I will have the tried and true problem of letting go when it comes to that. Designing/collaborating on the vision for something like this is one thing, but it's a very different thing to know how to keep the process open, and feel confident that the group, in some way, will continue and work to realize the key goals for which it was started to begin with... well, those are difficult things to balance without experience.
I've thoroughly enjoyed the work so far, and I really feel like it's given me the chance to experiment with my own leadership style and skills, and it's also given me space to reflect on what kind of organizations I want to build and be a part of. Consensus and decisions by committee are often reviled by people who have had bad experiences, or even people who aren't process oriented - but there's something to be said about a community of people making decisions for their community... and building community as they do it.
I think integrating the mundane/administrative work that comes with every organization with the group's substantive philosophy is a very important step towards building a more conscious group. It's not enough that we send out press releases about what we believe (or hold events on campus that are interesting and current topics). Why are we doing this work? And are we holding true to those ideals across the board in our daily work and orientation to that work?
It's the whole question of practicing what you preach, and sadly, people become little dictators when they start to get control of any process or group. I've seen it with informal groups (like an alumni group I'm struggling with right now) all the way up to the groups that you'd think would be more conscious of these issues of power. But people seem to grab for more when they should be thinking about how to share and open up the field more. Annoying and counterproductive. I'm sure I'll write more about this with a little more time.
Anyway, with all the other things going on out there, it's hard to see what the priorities in school can really mean. Shouldn't I be here focusing on developing the skills to do the best I can once I'm out of here? But on the other hand, doesn't organizing (and recognizing/realizing what your community is when you're a part of it) qualify as a skill worth learning? Then again, without the right guide, are you learning the right skills? Too many things to consider. But now that my hardest exam is over, I hope to engage these questions, as well as some of the nuttiness that I'm seeing in the national A/P/A scene, with more vigor. Lucky you.
Heck, I may throw in another fun video if I find one here and there.
Microsoft vs. Apple (Marketing)
Because I'm on another YouTube kick (and I'll be writing for the rest of the day), I thought I'd share this. This is from a series of comparisons between the companies that aren't the most illustrative of the differences (which are really not very important, honestly). I think it's the battle of the style vs. function. And the feeling that some people have about counterculture. But Apple is not a counterculture tool - I think that Mac users may tend to be more creative, but not in their computing - it's in everything else that they use the computer (as a tool) to accomplish. And heck, I think it's about the software that people use to create - so let's talk about Pro Tools or Final Cut. I probably already lost people there. But that's the big issue, isn't it? It's more the gap between avid users and people who just use the computer with the bare minimum understanding of how it works or how to change it from what comes out of the box. Mac is liked by people because they don't have to tinker - PCs because you can tinker more, I guess (which I believe more and more). But Windows vs. Mac OS X is a different story.
But to me, I have to return to the question of founders and CEOs. I think this MS commercial, which stars the now CEO of MS, Steve Ballmer, shows us what kind of an image he puts out there. Steve Jobs is more slick, the cool uncle, I suppose.
But when it comes to founders - Jobs may like the sexy and innovative, but Gates has had the vision for the company (evil as we think it is). He's one of the few real decendants from the robber barons like Rockefeller, Carnegie, and JP Morgan. He's giving it away.
What is Jobs doing? Where's his philanthropy? Why isn't Apple donating computers to schools? Why isn't Apple making more of a specific impact? Why do Apple's investors have to push for them to move closer to Dell in green programs? Hell, the linked article states that Apple is in last place on the relevant Greenpeace list. Gore is on their board. What gives?
Anyway, enjoy the video. Maybe I'll send up another before I'm done today.
Zune Balmer
This is one of my favorite things I've seen for a while. There's some back-story - Steve Ballmer is the crazy CEO of Microsoft who has gone out of his way to say things about Apple. Much reviled in the Apple community, he's also kind of an idiot. This "ad" was created from real footage of him at a Microsoft Developers presentation when he pranced around the stage screaming. It's a little unnerving to watch the real video, believe it or not (though you can still hear the vocal track in the background of this thing). But this is classic. More links to come, I'm sure.
Apr 30, 2007
Hallowed Be Thy... Delight?
Woah. While studying for my imminent exam, I was just checking out some music through An Aquarium Drunkard, a great music blog for a wide assortment of stuff. Anyway, in this post, he talks about the vocal delivery of Paul McCartney in a track from his second solo effort, Ram, called "Monkberry Moon Delight." I'd never heard it - not really a big fan of McCartney's solo stuff. But I played along and listened. While I agree that the vocal performance is interesting, the meandering melody line that starts up... which becomes more pronounced over time, is frightening close to a theme that arises in Iron Maiden's classic "Hallowed Be Thy Name." I can't post tunes here at this point, but it's shocking. Did Harris bite this bit from McCartney's song, which preceded it by at least 10 years? Eesh.
Apr 26, 2007
City reading (i.e. stay tuned)
That time is upon me again, and I'm caught in the humdrum of exam prep. Luckily (or not?) I only have one big exam this term, so once that's out of the way, I'll just have to stress about a take-home exam and a big paper for which I'll have to resist the urge to do the million and a half things I remember I have to do at just the right moment. It's not adult ADD. It's just that springtime feeling, that "can't-stand-being-inside-now-that-it's-finally-warm" feeling. I realize that my patience with some of this stuff is waning, but it's all good. It's a short two weeks before I can pack up these books onto the already loaded bottom shelf of my bookcase.
So for now, not much more to report. Read a couple of really interesting articles about cities, so I'll share the links here:
1) Jersey City ranked #2 in least sprawl in major American cities, after NYC. In the nation. I had no idea that planners viewed the rapid growth in Jersey City to be "smart growth." I have mixed feelings about some of the rapid changes - having spent so much time there while growing up. But it's definitely an interesting piece.
2) Sorta an "answer" to this is a quick review of a new book called The Neoliberal City: Governance, Ideology and Development in American Urbanism, which argues that America's cities are moving away from being places where the poor and working class can afford to live, all as part of this neoliberal wave that encourage gentrification, privatization, and corporate invasion at their expense. It's interesting - I'll see if I can check out the book when I'm free from school.
3) Bonus: A piece in the NY Times (I don't read it myself, but it was on a planning list serv that I read) about Jamaica Avenue. I still like reading these pieces about parts of the city I haven't fully explored, so it's a good one to glance at for a less "deep" read.
Of course, it still smells of the Manhattan-centric odor of the Times and its readership. But I guess Queens is the new Brooklyn... is the new Jersey City? Wall Street West, indeed.
Apr 19, 2007
The Real Face of Terror.
While I think that it's become an altogether unfortunate cliche of its own, I feel compelled to remind people about this guy, and to show his face. I'm sure I could put up a range of other faces, but today marks the 12-year anniversary of a terrible tragedy that has sadly been relegated to single footnote status to the immense dissertation that is September 11th.
I can't sesem to remember if the white/Christian/MidWestern community apologized for McVeigh's actions. Hell, do you know what school he went to? What denomination he was? Where he was born? Did any of those groups/places apologize for him? Did they emphasize that he was a white dude, and we should look out for other white dudes? Of course not. Race doesn't exist when you're white. It's a non-issue. Sort of like we only "talk" about race when there are non-white people involved. Why is that?
***
Actually, if things that happen outside of our borders struck the hearts of Americans more, I'd have pictures of Kissinger, Nixon, Truman, and a host of other people here. Oh, can't forget J. Edgar Hoover (wait, he was domestic) up here too. Hell, let's talk about the range of other things that have happened on our soil - there were many massacres, as people have mentioned in some spaces.
I guess this begs the question: are widespread massacres and shooting sprees a matter of personal interpretation? Does it really matter if there is one shooter or more than one... or if they were doing so under the auspices of "official" government business? I don't know. The systematic slaughter of Native peoples in the United States, the mass lynchings, the many other incidences of massive violence in this nation may not have happened in one day, but they had a devastating impact. And what the news reporters and the other folks who are so (rightfully) mortified by this week's events don't want to think about is the most unnerving pictures of people going out to watch a public execution (lynching, usually), and the joy on their faces in some of those photographs (if you haven't seen the old photos from lynchings, they are really hard to look at, and I did it because of a class, but the horror moves beyond the strange fruit hanging... it's the smiles on the faces of the onlookers. Accomplices every one.
***
Just listened to "Excuse me Amerikkka" for the first time in a long time by I Was Born With Two Tongues. That track really gets me, but it also reminded me of the terribly sad incident in 1989 in Stockton, CA where Patrick Purdy shot more than 100 rounds into an elementary school payground, killing 8 and injuring 29... mostly Southeast Asian kids. 100 rounds, folks. Do you remember that date? I don't. And that's a shame.
down on every side.
I've been reading the blog of a fellow student in school who I hang out with sometimes. He only told me about his site once, so I don't know if he knows I read it, but damn. I wish he'd cheer up a bit. It seems like he's got some pretty ambivalent feelings about most aspects of his life, from school to his home situation to his purpose in life. I don't even see him raving about... anything. I mean, I complain here once in a while (smirk away, faithful reader), but I'm a happy person, generally. I mean, is it just a function of realizing how blessed we are when we're in the moment? Is it really that hard to think that way? I don't think that my life is particularly spectacular, but I really feel like I've got good things and people around me, starting with numero uno at home.
But maybe there's a certain cache in being/seeming miserable. It's hard to tell. But it's incredibly boring to me. I mean, angst about your own life and your own ups and downs is boring even if it ends up appearing in rants all the time. But mopey posts are just painful. Just keep that shit in your head, man, and work it out. Community workers should be joyful people, or else the burdens of the world (and especially those that less fortunate people than you have to carry) will bury us.
Listen to your old joy division tapes, light up a spliff, do whatever it takes to get yourself out of it. There's a lot of work to do.
Community apologies?
Read this post by angry asian man. I should just stop writing here about this and keep reminding people to read his site. His point about not feeling compelled to apologize is right on. The Korean American community's reaction is all over the map already, with older generations feeling that the uneasy (quiet) space we inhabit in the U.S. is completely disrupted, and as a result, we have to make peace with the mainstream. I don't know that other Asian American communities feel the same or different, but I'm going to link here to something I wrote last year about the constant calls for apologies in the South Asian community around matters overseas.
While this is something domestic, I think the racialization of individual actions is invidious and belies the societal desire to distill "lessons" or generalizations about people. It's been happening to the black community forever, but it's easily attributed to other groups all the time. And it moves beyond the standard stereotypes - violent, homicidal behavior is not the standard way that folks look at Asian males (well, not right now, but just take a step back to WW II, Viet Nam, Sept. 11, etc.).
Anyway, I just don't agree with the community apologies. I think that condolences that are honest and heart-felt are appropriate, but public statements that only focus on sharing the pain seem disingenuine - Asian American groups would not be making statements of condolence about this if it weren't for the face of the killer. That doesn't mean that people wouldn't have sent their thoughts to the college or other places, or that they wouldn't have been actively engaged (we've seen that time and again with other tragedies, including Oklahoma City, which happened 12 years ago today). It just means that I think it's hollow if you don't do it all the time. If you need to show that the community isn't represented by someone who happens to be from it, do something locally, or something that helps in the healing. Be visible. But don't just issue an apology. Why do you think the United States hasn't apologized for slavery?
Apr 18, 2007
Video. Photos. Verdict?
He's playing us all. He assumed that he would be successful, and he got the images and video out so that he could take over the airwaves with his images, and to expose hatred, fear, and all the raw emotions he pulled out in his rants and writing. I don't admire him, but I wonder how "insane" he was to be able to plan to this degree, and to think through how much the media would eat up the images and the video. I just can't imagine what his parents are going through. And I don't want to see the images, the videos, the words. I don't want to make sense of his anger. I know so many people who could have taken the wrong path. How many of them end up joining the military? The police? Some other place where they can inflict their pain on others? How many more broken people are walking among us as if they were whole?
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