Sep 8, 2005

Rage Against Rage.

In the aftermath of the disaster in Katrina's wake, and the looming anniversary of September 11th, I'm faced with the dire reality that I have suppressed a number of things from my childhood, my intermediate adulthood, the past 4 years, and that these individual events, experiences, and conditioning have fermented into a seething, unbalanced, spiralling mess that threatens to topple the sane and relatively reasonable person behind the persona. I have to work through this, and I have to find answers outside of myself to confront and control my demons. It is with this realization that I begin to focus internally, pick up the pen and write longhand again, and withdraw from the daily pattern of commenting on external issues at the cost of recognizing my own weaknesses.

I have to find ways to deal with my pain, confusion, fear, doubt, grief, and anger in some way that allows me to heal, and to become once again whole.

I cannot allow 'rage' to win over 'reason'.

4 comments:

someone else said...

rage, i feel you, and i hope you're okay. i think we can together make it through this struggle. support is available.

reason said...

Thanks, SS. It helps to know that there's support in friends and other places. 1 step at a time. Writing helps, though I haven't been writing much...

burnedouteyes said...

we can
alternate shots
of rage
with shots of reflection

rock on.

Rage said...

agreed. and you just reminded me to post about the Ozzfest show and the recent revelations about what happened at the end of the tour..

Thanks, though.