May 11, 2011

(API* Heritage 2011) Post #5:Association for Asian American Studies

I am trying really hard not to make this the month of cynicism about the community. There's enough dark in the world; no one wants more grim for the sake of darkness. But beyond the day to day work where theory and practice occasionally work together but often challenge one another to fist fights, the rest of Professional Asian America seldom strikes the right note for me anymore.

I suppose a humble person wouldn't feel like they know more than a lot of the jokers out there claiming to be the voice of, the historian of, the advocate for these communities, but I'm not quite that humble man. Of course, academics and scholars get a very special kind of ire from the activisty crowd (unless they are one and the same, as some marxist, revolutionary phDs have been known to live out their fantasies by managing and governing nonprofit organizations that they claim espouse those values).

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May 4, 2011

(API* Heritage 2011) Post #4: Advancing... Nothing

I am so tired of hearing groups use the phrase "advancing justice" or "advancing equality" as their catch phrase for what they do in the "social justice" space. In Asian America, this equates to towing the model minority line: speak in your turn, don't ask for anything more than the bigger children, and be polite about the crumbs you get.

I don't get the "good enough" mentality. The assumed role of these groups and individuals as brokers who "deal" away the maximum benefits that the community can hope for in their low level policy meetings to show that "we know how to sacrifice, so please give us this little thing" is just sickening. They have no power, but they still have more opportunity than any of the real folks who they claim to represent. Our community needs more than piddling "advancement" of rights and pushback on the attacks against us.

We need folks who know how and are willing to use all the pieces on the board, not just be/the pawns. We need a peoples' agenda.

May 3, 2011

(API* Heritage 2011) Post #3: Vapors of Community in Asian American Studies

Asian America, I like to say, is on the fringe of a margin in American public consciousness and life. The big open secret is that it is hardly in the consciousness of most Asian Americans, which in a way, is very different from all other major communities of color in the United States.

African Americans - despite the systematic dismantling of the leadership and heart of the community over the decades - still have a shared history of slavery, the fight for freedom, and the many struggles for equality and self-determination. Even though they do not comport cleanly with the narrative put forward by American mainstream, at least these histories and stories are in some imperfect way part of the American consciousness, and most definitely part of the African American experience. There is power and strength in that.

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May 2, 2011

(API* Heritage 2011) Post #2: Osama Bin Laden and Asian America

Most non-Desi or non-Arab Asian Americanists would either downplay or completely miss the relevance of the title of this piece.

With the kick-off of our month, we get the news that Osama Bin Laden was killed by a covert special operation by the U.S. military. I haven't spoken with Asian Americanists around the nation, I don't know what people are thinking. Perhaps people are out in the streets "partying" like some of mainstream America (murder is not my choice cause for celebrations). Perhaps they are indifferent.

But most of conscious and progressive South Asian America is NOT doing that. People are worried, scared, unclear on what this means, realizing that the global is the personal again, and might become even more and very directly so if things go the way people are bracing for. Last night soon after the news broke, I received a series of text messages from a Pakistani American friend with whom I have had an ongoing dialogue about how complicated community politics are and how lacking mainstream and even ally efforts to speak to or gloss over these issues can be. The friend was troubled by the blood lust, and very conscious of the geopolitical ramifications of the details as they were being released.

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May 1, 2011

(API* Heritage 2011) Post #1: Again?

Yeah I'm back this month, two years later. I guess there's something compelling, like a train wreck, about revisiting a place that I abandoned and making the commitment to try to write here once a day for the whole month. I find it a useful exercise to see if I can sustain. Clearly I was not able to do that the first time I tried to write a daily post in honor of "Asian Pacific American Heritage Month."

I read something and it reminds me of this space. I see some folks still rolling out the same tired stories and snapshots of history as the whole of our community's existence, and it makes me think of this space. More than add to the noise, I want to hear and share stories. Here's an example of someone doing that through photos and long-form interviews. The community's voices are far more important than ours. That said, I'll see what I can do to make this year interesting.

Apr 22, 2011

Ambition.

I've seldom thought of my gigs as parts of a "career" as such. I don't really think out my next move as much as most people from my peer group seem to do. I'm here, I'm trying to do the best I can, something happens and I move on, but it takes me a while. I'm not afraid of change, just not planning for it in short intervals.

I am fast approaching an age where I can't think of myself as young anymore. It is a little shocking - you live with yourself from day to day and know there are changes, but when you take the long view backward, you realize 20 years have gone by since this or that memory.

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The Death of So Called Political Power: They Want Our Land

WaPost A-1 story today talks about the dilution of black influence/majority districts with black flight/sweep out of urban centers around the nation. All this talk about gentrification and the future of "chocolate cities" doesn't take into account the human element. African Americans, especially, but also Jews, Chinese communities, and a range of others have a history of being restricted from living where they choose, later or directly as a result choosing to create their own communities.

Then they began losing those communities through class segregation celebrated as "integration" when people left the city for affluent suburbs, new valuation of the land they settled on as populations shifted and "center city" became a target with cross hairs on their properties (witness Chinatowns throughout this land), generations of new immigrants bought the American dream of integration and suburbia while turning away from co-ethnic cohesion that protected their predecessors amidst such animosity.

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Apr 17, 2011

What Now?

It has been so long since I came to this site and shared anything beyond an apology for not writing here. I enjoyed writing here, and though there were only a few folks who came through, it felt like something small and manageable. Of course, many of us who share in some way long for a larger audience, and perhaps the advent of indiscriminate and mass sharing via Facebook and Twitter (and Tumblr, Posterous, etc.) makes blogs feel that much more old fashioned. There was a point when I didn't really read many blogs anymore, either.

The internet has become something different from what it once was for many of us in my generation. I lived on sites and message boards, and comment archives for some sites. Now, I'm in and out quickly, though the internet seems to hum in the background in my work, personal, and waking life in a way much like music, passing in and out of my primary zone of attention, but never for very long. With that, so too have gone blogs and other forms of serialized (or random) writing.

If I had the ability, I would create a site with a few trusted folks who I know would add something interesting when they have time. I would send it to people much the way I share links or start email discussions with a curated group of friends - in the interest of sharing, interacting, gaining something from that interaction.

In the years where I have fallen quiet on this site, I have not been writing elsewhere - not on another website, not in a personal weblog or journal account, not even in long form. And my letter writing, which was already haphazard at best, has been reduced to occasional birthday cards. I long for the time - but more importantly - the discipline to write regularly, honestly, and in a way that seeks and debates truth, community, this thing of life that passes so quickly. I am less interested in cataloging the acts that intervene between entries and more interested in exploring where I've been and where I'm going (as well as where "we" have been and where "we" are going) through a community of trust.

Part of me feels like there was an opportunity for that with this site or some successor that I could have built with friends years ago. I'm still interested. I still think about and try to live this "Asian American" thing, and the years have made me feel not more skeptical about these ideas of community, but more interested in exploring the nuances of this little sliver of the American experience in which I have invested my hopes, dreams, blood, sweat, and tears.

How to do that is my next big challenge. If there's anyone out there, I welcome your thoughts.

Feb 25, 2010

Time and Cycles

The more things change, ya'll. Four years, almost to the day, that I posted this, I've lost my last living grandparent. My other grandmother. I have been writing more regularly, both for work and for a private project, but I miss this space. There's likely no one out there anymore, but I can't believe it has been four years since that post.

Ain't no time to waste, ya'll. I won't be writing a lot here about this, or perhaps anything at all, but these lives we live across cultures and with families and generations split across continents - you know you're supposed to feel something specific because that's what society tells you. So what happens when you don't? Or when what you feel is related to other unexplained losses that you've experienced but still not processed? Is it too self-centered to explore that pain when something else is more immediate?

Nov 21, 2009

Growing Up

I've been thinking a lot lately. The silence on this site, sadly, doesn't mean that I'm writing a lot elsewhere right now, and that's been getting me down. I was in a rare funk for a bit, which my partner noticed. She mentioned her concern to me, but I didn't know what was going on.

I don't seem to really tackle these feelings head on - often they are fleeting, but I've been told, particularly by my live-in better half that I have a tendency to focus most on what's immediately in front of me. I denied for a while, but you know? When I look back on my years of work, of experiences, of failures, triumphs, WTF moments, and friends who have gradually fallen off of my map, I realize that there's more truth there than I wanted to admit.

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Sep 10, 2009

Framing is Everything: Where is the Immigrants' Rights Movement Now?

You know - the thing that irks me far more than Wilson's outburst last night? It's that the actual policy point that is being hammered again and again, both by the right wing fringe and mainstream conservatives AND the liberal media establishment (Keith Olbermann and the rest of them) as well as the spin doctors for the dopey Democrats, is that "illegal" immigrants are not going to get any kind of Federal subsidy for healthcare.

On the policy point, this means they may be forced to make decisions between breaking the new law because they didn't know or they can't afford the coverage, if maintaining healthcare coverage becomes mandatory through health reform, or paying full rates for health care coverage and not having money to send back home to their families, or not paying rent, or not feeding their families. The backwardness of this proposition, which is just an extension of wrongheaded policy decisions made as part of the 1996 Welfare Deform legislation, boggles the mind.

You know, if we have to outline who shouldn't get any government money for health care premiums, I would suggest it should be Federal income tax-evaders. But make sure we're clear: that would be people who actually have to pay taxes and don't, rather than just assuming that includes all undocumented folks. Because so many undocumented immigrants don't make a lot of money, those who do not file tax returns could be saving the Feds money by not claiming their Earned Income Tax Credit as very low income families.

But the biggest loss here is that democrats, liberals, "progressives" - they are all just willing to blindly accept that it's okay to leave out the undocumented in this debate. Sure! They aren't going to vote, they aren't going to donate, so let's scapegoat and toss them around as the political hot potato that we can all agree to ignore (or worse, talk about as if we're harder on them than the crazies on the right).

The "immigrants rights" people should be burning buildings down at this point. But I don't know if liberal white women do that kind of thing. So will the real immigrants' rights movement please stand up? There are people impersonating you, waiting quietly and patiently in the wings as the healthcare fiasco winds its way through the legislative halls until they can get a chance at gazing upon their icon and selling off large pieces of the movement as part of a "coordinated strategy on comprehensive immigration reform"... or at least their thinly veiled audition for coveted positions within the Administration. This anemic "movement" has no real vision, no real balls to take on the Administration the way that the right does every step of the way.

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Sep 7, 2009

New Blue Scholars EP: OOF!

Hey folks. So it's been a summer since I posted. Took some time off from the hectic life and reflected a bit. More time reading, chilling with peeps, and cooking and less time in front of a screen is my goal. But even as I've grappled with what to do with this space, I realize that I want to keep some semblance of this space alive because it's been a minute since I started it (2003?!) and I still have to find the right spot to call home for new writing. So thanks to anyone who's still reading, and hopefully there will be something interesting here once in a while still...

For now - the new Blue Scholars EP OOF! came out at the end of last month. Check it and stream below:










Jun 22, 2009

A Reason to Question Prez Obama's Departure from Bush

I heard this on Democracy Now this morning. Check this link for the details.

Did you hear his comments this week (perhaps it was today?) about the plight of the Uyghur detainees who have been released after 7 years of detention (without any charges, and now without any apology), can't return to China for fear of persecution, yet are not being allowed to settle in the U.S., but are being pushed to Palau?

President Obama: “Nick at Nite has a new take on an old classic: Leave It to Uyghurs. I thought that was pretty good.”

Yeah - pretty good if you're not one of the Uyghur detainees, whose lives have been destroyed by racist, Islamophobic, xenophobic American policy that crosses a lot of different disciplines from Homeland Security, the "War on Terror", immigration and asylum policy, and the list goes on.

Dear Prez: I was kind of coming around a bit too, but this is really awful. Joking about the plight of people who have been completely fucked by the U.S. is really uncouth, uncool, and unlikely to win my confidence that you are different from McCain's "bomb bomb bomb Iran" comments.

Jun 11, 2009

API* Heritage Post #Fin

I didn't give up on the posts: I just felt like the navel-gazing wasn't getting me anywhere, particularly without much dialogue on the site. Life has gotten incredibly busy through work (again) and just life. I think I have yet to find that balance folks talk about, but it's a healthy thing to always wonder if you've found it, I guess.

It was a crazy Heritage month this year: Al Robles and Ron Takaki left us last month. While they weren't perfect, they gave us different views, different benchmarks by which to measure our own lives in this work. I think the personal stories that people have started to share about their lives and what they did to touch people has been the most striking. And with more personal loss that we've just found out about, I realize that much more how even little things can really connect you to someone, and make losing them, in whatever way, that much more of a shock.

I'm kind of at a standstill again regarding my energy for this space. But it's hard to let go.

May 23, 2009

API* Heritage Post #20: Regenerate

I really don't know what else to write about at this point. I feel like a curmudgeon in this space, partially because I can't get as specific as I'd like to, and then because I am actually hopeful about a lot of things, but again, the specificity makes me want to find another place to add these stories to our crazy kitchrie of a community.

Honestly - one thing I've been thinking about a lot is the need for more storefront/flexible community spaces. As our people continue to get pushed further and further from urban centers, it is so easy to lose sight of their unique histories and stories, which really are critical parts of what make each city.

Without geographic residential hubs, the lives of folks who live in the 'burbs but spend many of their working hours turning the wheels that keep the city going are lost. Even the sense of ownership of the city is lost, particularly as middle-class and white folks flood back into cities displacing the immigrants and low-income folks who lived there before.

So we need our own spaces. We need at least some kind of marker, beyond staid museums and exhibits: living, breathing spaces that are open to community, that take community needs and dreams and work them into something.

May 19, 2009

API* Heritage Post #19: Destroy and Rebuild

I think all of the national APA nonprofits that have been around for more than 10 years should take 2010 to reevaluate their existence and purpose. I think they should be forced to reboot. The community needs it. They, like most peecees running windows, have grown fat, useless, obsolete. There isn't an ounce of fire in them - they push the same damn papers back and forth, meet in the same damn circles of contacts, tow the same damn line. Well, I. Ain't. Havin'. It.

I just wrote about the love in my last post, but I'm really down on these jokers. What do they bring to the conversation, I mean, really? If you've been doing the same time for more than 5 years, it's time to think: what am I getting from this, what else could I be doing, and you know - what am I keeping others from doing here?

May 18, 2009

API* Heritage Post #18: Family

Yeah - it was a great idea while it lasted. But can we really force ourselves to write about community every day? Or even to think about it in that same old way? Today's post - I think I've just got to keep it close. I love talking about this work, and doing what I can, but sometimes it's easy to get carried away on that front and forget altogether who and what is most important.

The work will always continue, and you know - that Springsteen line about being afraid that we're not that young anymore? I think I'm finally feeling that regarding those days of just hanging out with people and building community over long dinners and longer drinking sessions afterwards. I have a lot of ideas for the future, but I'm also looking inward - if you don't have that peace at home, and that strength that comes from either quiet time alone or with the one(s) you love, you are missing something fundamental and cherished by the very people you are fighting with/for.

So don't forget your loved ones. The struggle continues tomorrow, as long as you wake up whole and warm with love. Because though the profiteers who bleed our community for their egos, their ever-rising ambitions, will never acknowledge it, it is the combination of relentless love and fearless struggle that will carry this beyond press releases and inside conversations.

May 17, 2009

API* Heritage Post #17: Cornershop's New Video by Prashant Bhargava

This year, in an actual attempt to really observe API* Heritage Month, I'm trying to put up a post a day about what that means to me. Click the tag for API* Heritage to get the whole series.

Rather than bore you with my missives into the ether, check this out. Via Cornershop's Myspace blog:

Well before the current interest in India as a different locational source for film, Chicago's award winning Grafitti artist turned award winning Film-maker and Designer Prashant Bhargava put together his film Patang -- this feature length drama is set during the jubilant atmosphere of India's largest kite festival. Luckily for us he also did a video for "The Roll Off Characteristics"



You can catch Bhargava's short film Sangam on Netflix View Instantly, and get onto the Facebook fan site for Patang, which is due out at either the end of this year or beginning of 2010. Support our arts, ya'll.

May 16, 2009

API* Heritage Post #16: Solidarity and Disaggregation of Data

This year, in an actual attempt to really observe API* Heritage Month, I'm trying to put up a post a day about what that means to me. Click the tag for API* Heritage to get the whole series.

Often with API* activists and advocates, we speak about common experiences where there may not be many - our discussions of solidarity are really that: not shared histories but analogies of struggle that we can bring to bear in whatever work we're trying to do together now. It's not that our people have the same histories and therefore our struggles are the same: it's that in the stories of the Manongs from the I-Hotel, there are themes and experiences that we can learn from, examples that we can use to build for the future.

Where we go wrong is when we overlook the differences, the uniqueness of Asian and other immigrant community experiences and try to create some kind of meta-narrative where there is none. Vast and discriminatory backlogs in visa processing affect many Asian communities, and offer an opportunity for common stories that bind, but the plight of Filipino American veterans, JA internees, Cambodian deportees, Thai sweatshop workers, and Bhutanese refugees are different from one another.

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May 15, 2009

API* Heritage Post #15: Beginning

This year, in an actual attempt to really observe API* Heritage Month, I'm trying to put up a post a day about what that means to me. Click the tag for API* Heritage to get the whole series.

There are so many nonprofits in our communities and yet so many needs and possibilities still unmet and untapped. Here and there, I've alluded to an interest in breaking free of the nonprofit-industrial complex, partially because I think there's often such a weird aura of privilege (without acknowledgment) that surrounds these groups. And it's just so. much. talk.

At the same time, I feel like we're often limited by just thinking about the dollars we can raise through foundations, corporations, and government - all tethered in some major way to capitalism or militarism because where else will they get the money (or the guilt) to contribute to groups? Private and public grants are the opiate of the organizers, I'd say - the money keeps us going, but it also keeps their hands on our throats, fully limiting the possible ways that groups can truly focus on what is needed for their communities: social change that moves far beyond catch phrases and happy hours.

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